By Mike Parker
Often, I either get asked straight out why I fast or people suggest I do it for attention. Sometimes I see that people post they do it for someone or something or to be noticed. However, not me. I look in the mirror and see a fat person. I know what the scales and the BMI and what the professionals say, but I know they must either be blind or they are just trying to make me feel OK about being fat.
Why
When I fast, I feel better, I feel lighter, and I like that. The anxiety and clutter in the mind goes away, and I see the world and my existence in a whole new light. I feel my spirits drop; as a result, I feel closer to God, everything slows down, and I feel calm and at peace. It feels very spiritual.
Breaking through the initial barrier.
When I start to fast, at first it seems easy. As time goes by, I start to feel more irritated and stressed out. This is where most people and even myself fail and decide to give in. We end up feeling like we just can't stand it, and we start to think I need to eat something to feel better or for the benefit of others. However, if I ignore the irritation it gets worse, and I start to feel angry and grumpy. Once I tell myself there is no more food, I feel my head drop and with it my high spirits. At this point, I turn to God in prayer and I start to calm down. I might even cry. Yes, it is somewhat like being a child and demanding more food from your parents/guardians only to be told sorry, but there is no more food. Have you ever been told to go to bed without your supper? It's like that. It has a taming effect. You feel sad, and you might even continue fantasising about food, but you are calm and happy in the thoughts of what you might eat when you are allowed to eat again. That feeling of control over the wild hunger emanating from the unconscious mind is exhilarating, knowing that you are at last lord and master of your own mind! Once this occurs, we notice our breath more, and it seems deep, calming and has a feeling of great satisfaction even though it is accompanied by a feeling of sadness.
The reward
Yes, there is more to it than just bing thin. The pay off is that light feeling. By this I mean actually feeling light as well as feeling light headed. For instance, today, while out in the shops, I felt so light, clean in side and light headed. This made me feel calm and happy in a quiet and satisfying way. I had an odd trembling feeling and people seemed different around me. I could think clearly and everything seemed dreamy. Notably, the trembling was accompanied by a cool feeling, like a fresh temperature around me. In addition, it was like someone had turned up the colour and I felt so positive.