By Mike Parker
Sometimes people ask me why I do it as if it is a choice.
It's not to be frail
It's not to be tiny
It's not to be like a child
It's not to punish myself
It's not to punish anyone else
It's not to be noticed
It's not a cry for help
I like the feeling of lightness
I like the feeling of goodness
I like the way everything slows down
I like the way my mind stops thinking
I like being thin
I feel we must consider control and how we learn a lot of behaviours from people around us. In addition, there is genetics, although the evidence comes from mice and there is the way the hunger blots out all other thoughts. For instance, Maslow, if we have a need that is not being meet and it gets to a critical stage, we can't think about anything else. In other words, restriction becomes like a shield holding back reality and creates a safe zone to function. Somewhat like a divergent reality.
For many it is a coping mechanism in response to the question: what do I with my life? Once this question is pondered, people either tell themselves: I'm going to do this, insert the dream, or if they can't find a suitable answer, they panic. They then catastrophise, people won't like me because of x, y and z, and build a wall to shield them from unmanageable levels of distress.
However, I'm not always consciously looking to be thin. Sometimes, I just want to avoid foods that are unsafe. I want to avoid greasy skin, so I avoid greasy food.