Wednesday, 17 July 2024

All Was Well Until The Shop Mirror

I got up early today because I had to get my bicycle serviced and repaired. Since the sun was shining, and it was warm enough not to need a coat, I started to look forward to going out. While my bike was in the shop, I went into town and chilled in the library for an hour.  My bike was finished early, so after picking it up, I got some veg from the supermarket and headed back into town.  

 


After looking around the shops, I decided to get myself a few things because the bike was not as expensive as it could have been.  I found vegan mayonnaises in a discount shop which was less than half price than in the supermarket, so I got a jar. While in CEX, I saw an anime DVD called The Sky Crawlers, and decided to look it up on the internet.  It sounded OK and since it was only £1.50 I got it.  By now I was feeling pretty OK with myself; the bike seems like new, and I had found myself some cheap treats.  I remembered seeing some salt on special other and decided to go back and get it. This is when it happened.  

I had just paid for the salt and was on the way out when I caught sight of myself in one of the mirrors. Immediately I noticed my belly.  It looked so round and fat, poking out from my midsection like some kind of deformed mutant trying to escape! I felt my heart sink and my eyes well up.  There was nothing else to do now but go straight home. I could have stayed out longer on my pushbike, but my mood had gone from one of optimistic joy into I hate myself in a matter of seconds after seeing myself in the mirror. 

Now, I'm glad I skipped breakfast. I obviously didn't deserve it anyway.  Even now I'm home, I can still feel the fat on me, especial around my stomach; it feels like a fat lump. I'm a fat lump.  I was looking forward to dinner, but now, now, I don't know.  I changed my plans for dinner when I saw the vegan mayo on offer. However, I still used the mayo, but a reduced amount. Just a small jacket tonight and lots of tea.  I don't deserve anything more.